


Bad Chaperone

by aibidil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Shots, Clubbing, Dancing, Drinking, Drunkenness, Getting Together, Harry Potter Next Generation, Inappropriate Erections, James is a teetotaler, Kissing, M/M, Pole Dancing, Seduction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 17:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aibidil/pseuds/aibidil
Summary: Harry asks Teddy to chaperone Albus's graduation party. Teddy's an excellent chaperone. Until James shows up and starts dancing.





	Bad Chaperone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gracie137](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracie137/gifts), [GoldenTruth813](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenTruth813/gifts).



> I wrote this on I-95 in response to an excellent discussion on Discord. I hope it meets your expectations, lovelies. <3

Teddy takes a deep breath, willing his mind to clear and his blood to stay evenly distributed in his circulatory system, rather than rushing to one particular organ.

He looks up from the sticky bar table, unable to keep his eyes away from James, who is stood on top of a table, arms over his head, dancing wantonly.

Fuck. Last time Teddy had looked up, at least James’s arms had been down, not over his head showing off his armpits and that strip of tanned, taut stomach fresh from Quidditch training. Because, of course, James had worn a rainbow-striped vest. A _tight_ rainbow-striped vest with a pair of low-rise jeans. _Tight_ , low-rise jeans. Fuck.

Teddy stares resolutely at his Firewhiskey. He really shouldn’t be drinking. Harry had asked him to _chaperone_ this bloody party. Why had he agreed? He knows how he gets around James. But it’s hard to say no to Harry.

Albus and Rose had graduated from Hogwarts that afternoon. The entire Weasley and Potter clans had been there, waving Slytherin flags for Albus and Gryffindor flags for Rose. The group of cousins had wanted a party; Harry and Hermione had been worried about drunk Apparating, so they asked Teddy to tag along and keep an eye on the youngsters. Which was fair, really, because Albus and his friends had only been able to drink for a few months. Well, legally, anyway. So, of course, they were being complete and utter morons about it. Teddy, who was twenty-six, had assured Harry that the novelty of public drunkenness had long ago worn off and that he’d make sure no one tried to Apparate irresponsibly.

And Teddy is definitely glad he took everyone’s wands when they arrived. Because they’ve rented out an entire room of a hipster bar in Diagon and the newly graduated are thoroughly enjoying their freedom. Teddy glances behind him and watches Albus, with a Slytherin tie loosely tied over a tight black t-shirt, taking a shot off of Scorpius’s stomach, which is flushed red with Malfoy embarrassment.

Teddy snorts and turns back to his drink. You’re not meant to feel old at twenty-six, are you? But he does. He’s been working as a Curse Breaker for years; Hogwarts feels like a lifetime ago. He’d pulled his Hufflepuff t-shirt out of the back of his wardrobe for this party and damn if it wasn’t too tight. He hadn’t realised he’d grown since graduation, but apparently he had, and not just emotionally.

Oh, Merlin. A group of Albus and Rose’s friends are taking another round of shots at the bar and screaming—loudly—“Hoggy warty Hogwarts!”

Unlike all these graduates, James has no excuse. Not really. Teddy looks up. _Sweet Helga._ James has Conjured a pole and is swinging around it without a care in the world, his leg hitched up and his head thrown back in apparent ecstasy as he gives himself over to the synthetic beat of the music.

Teddy feels the blood threatening to run south again and averts his eyes. _No,_ he yells at himself internally, though he knows it’s pointless. _I’m the chaperone!_ He’s the worst godson ever, for sure.

He chances another look; James has one leg extended up into the air. Fuck, it reminds him of when Jamie and Lily took ballet lessons. Only like, now it’s hot. _Fuck._

Is James doing this on purpose? Teddy honestly can’t tell. James is one of the oldest in attendance, since the group is mostly current graduates and Weasley cousins. And other family; Kesha Goyle-Dursley is in the corner wearing her Ravenclaw tie and chatting up Lysander.

So it’s not as if James has people here that he needs to impress. So why is he doing—oh sweet badger, now James is circling his hips. Suggestively. James—his little godbrother who he should not be thinking about sexually—is circling his hips suggestively and Teddy is a terrible person. Those circling hips will haunt his dreams.

Teddy takes a bracing sip of his drink. Some Firewhiskey will surely help clear his head. Wait, that isn’t how alcohol works, is it? Possibly he shouldn’t have ordered a drink at all, seeing as he had agreed to be the chaperone.

When they’d arrived, James had torn off his Members Only jacket (where had he even found that?), mussed up his hair, and whispered in Teddy’s ear, “I’m going to dance by myself, unless you want to join.”

Part of Teddy’s brain is still yelling at him for not grabbing James and snogging him senseless right then. He had been practically begging for it, right? But no! That’s just Teddy’s lust-addled brain giving him false information.

James doesn’t even drink! James has no excuse for this behaviour! Teddy looks up again, and James is twirling around the pole. No one is supposed to be so enthusiastic about life, so cocky, so fit, so fucking _magnetic_ , at least not without the help of alcohol or potions. But no, James Sirius Potter doesn’t require any substances to achieve outrageous levels of allure and charisma.

Though maybe it’s only Teddy who can’t keep his eyes off Jamie. No one else seems to be staring at James with drool on their chin and an entirely inappropriate erection in their trousers.

Teddy sighs. He reaches two fingers into his drink and plucks out a cherry, pops it in his mouth and sucks. The sweet syrup he sucks out of the cherry mixes with the Firewhiskey, the taste bursting on his tongue. He looks up to find James staring right at him. When James sees Teddy looking, he breaks into a slow smile.

Teddy brings his cherry-flavoured fingers to his forehead and makes a little salute. Merlin and Circe, what’s wrong with him? That was the lamest response in history.

And fuck, something must actually be wrong with him. Because that smile of James’s looked suggestive! It looked _interested_! Teddy is so lost that he thinks a smile from his godbrother looked suggestive.

Jamie had to wear a tight vest, too. It’s really not fair. Teddy feels guilty, but he wonders wildy whether he should feel guilty because it’s not _his_ fault! He didn’t tell James to wear a top that shows off every ripple of his stomach, every flex of his arm. But clothes don’t indicate sexual interest; that’s victim blaming. But fuck, James is so fit. Bless professional Quidditch training. Or, rather, curse it. Because Quidditch training is part of the problem here.

But that vest is actual torture. He can see Jamie’s armpit hair, for Helga’s sake. And armpit hair is not meant to be sexy, but fuck it all, because somehow it is when it’s Jamie’s. Teddy wants to stick his face in James’s armpit and nuzzle in, breathe in every inch of James. Would James be ticklish? Merlin’s pants, this isn’t normal. No, nope, not at all.

Fortunately, Teddy is distracted by a ruckus and turns to see Albus pulling off his shirt and handing a shot to Scorpius, encouraging Scorpius to take the shot off his stomach. Scorpius is smiling wide but shaking his head, looking very much intimidated by the prospect. Albus continues trying to convince Scorpius, and Teddy almost gets up to give Albus a brotherly talk about the “enthusiastic yes,” but he’s saved from that duty by Scorpius discarding the shot altogether, pushing Albus backwards onto the table, and crawling on top of him for a heated snog.

Well. At least Albus had gotten his enthusiastic yes. Teddy smiles.

But his smile disappears when he hears James’s voice hollering, “Oi! Lupin! Come dance with me!”

Teddy’s throat is suddenly tight. Is he in anaphylactic shock? No, that’s just being around James, isn’t it?

He turns slowly to see James, still on the table, reaching a hand out towards Teddy and crooking his finger in a come-hither motion.

And fuck if that doesn’t look like some of Teddy’s less subtle dreams.

He’s taken two steps towards James before he even realises what he’s doing. James breaks into a brilliant—blinding, really—smile.

A belligerent scream draws Teddy’s attention away, but he doesn’t miss the way James’s smile falters as Teddy’s eyes leave his.

But Teddy can’t think about that for long, because Fred and Hugo are having a loud confrontation with a group of their friends. Teddy reluctantly walks away from James—his brilliant, beautiful, rainbow-adorned James—towards the group of teenagers that appears to be nearing a brawl.

“What’s going on?” Teddy asks, and cringes at how he sounds like an interfering adult.

A chorus of petulant voices starts talking, and it eventually becomes clear that one of them is trying to get out of a bet in which he is expected to drink a container of human urine. What the _fuck_ is wrong with these fools, Teddy wonders. Surely he had never been that moronic.

Once that’s settled (Teddy lost his Hufflepuff patience and definitively ended the debate by Vanishing the container of piss), Teddy turns around, eyes scanning the room for Jamie. But he’s startled to find James right there, covered in a sheen of sweat that somehow makes him look sparkly and glowing rather than gross.

“Hey,” James says, face shimmering with the force of his cocky smile.

James is as tall as Teddy now, a fact that has never become less surprising. It’s startling, because Teddy’s age is the only thing he’s ever had over James. James is the type of person who takes up space; everyone knows if he’s in a room; people listen when he talks; people want to be near him. Hell, even _animals_ want to be near James, Teddy remembers, thinking of the Gnome Incident of 2017.

Teddy is not that way, never has been. Teddy is sweet and does his work and enjoys his friendships and jokes and has fun, but in a quieter way. In a way that doesn’t draw attention. So the fact that Teddy is six years older has always been the only thing that made him interesting. James has always loved Teddy—Teddy is big, Teddy is interesting—but Teddy worries that once James realises Teddy is just a boring, average twenty-six-year-old, James will stop looking at him with reverence.

So the height equivalence is startling. It’s _worrying_. Teddy could never outshine James, not on equal footing. But then, Teddy thinks, he’s not sure the sun could outshine James.

And sweet, bloody Merlin, when had he got to be so sappy? Fuck!

Teddy opens his mouth, but he can’t think of a thing to say. “You look like what I see when I close my eyes wanking,” doesn’t seem particularly appropriate.

“Did you have to break up a fight?” James asks, his mouth quirking into a lopsided smile that makes Teddy’s heart skip a beat.

“They were trying to make someone drink piss,” Teddy says, and he finds himself smiling back.

James wrinkles his freckled nose. Teddy wants to lick it. “Was I ever that dumb when I was a child?” Jamie asks.

Teddy laughs. “You’re only two years older than them!”

James’s face drops for a moment, which confuses Teddy because James is supposed to be audacious and forward, but he looks suddenly unsure. Then James smiles and says, “I’m sober and enjoying life without any substances or stupid dares, unlike you, so I am clearly the grown-up here.”

Teddy smiles. “I only had one drink.”

“Sure, Lupin,” James teases, and then without warning James reaches out and cracks a shimmering purple orb on top of Teddy’s head.

“Oi! What was that?”

James grins. “Playing a game with some of the Ravenclaws. It’s from Uncle George’s. It’s kinda like truth or dare, only the magic gives you the choice between two different dares.”

“I didn’t agree to play!” Teddy splutters.

James’s face turns serious for a moment. “Oh, of course. If you want to stop playing you just say ‘Safe Word’ and the magic stops.”

Teddy raises an eyebrow.

“They were supposed to choose a safe word when they activated a game, but they left it on the default,” he explains.

Teddy bursts into laughter. James is really too much. “Alright, then. What’s my dare?”

James leans forward, and if Teddy didn’t know better he’d think James was trying to pick him up or catch a quick snog. “Come dance with me,” James says with a devious grin.

“I already told you I don’t want to dance,” Teddy responds, amused.

“Rose chose the other dare you get to choose from,” James says. “It’s either let me give you a lap dance or come dance with me.”

Teddy’s eyebrows fly up. He feels a tingle of magic and looks up, trying to catch a glimpse of his hair; James presses his lips together, trying to suppress a smile.

“What did it change to?” Teddy asks, fearing the worst.

“Your hair is bright red and orange,” James answers, reaching up to touch. The touch of James’s fingers on his head erupts shivers all down his body. _Fuck_. Lap dance is out of the question.

“I’ll dance,” Teddy says quickly, sparing a quick glance around the room to make sure there are no more bodily fluids for him to Vanish. Albus and Scorpius have somehow lost their shirts and are covered with glitter, but at least their trousers are still on. And really, Teddy doesn’t care what they do as long as they don’t try to Apparate.

“Brilliant,” James says, and grabs Teddy’s wrist.

As James walks backward dragging Teddy to the open part of the room, Teddy can’t help but wonder at the fact that James is still looking at him with that expression of awed reverence he had when they were younger. Even though they’re the same height now. Even though they’re both adults. Although, there’s something a bit different in that expression now—

But Teddy’s thoughts are cut short by James pulling close and whispering in his ear, “Do you prefer the floor or the table, Ted?”

Teddy thinks he might need a Defibrillation Charm. Suffice it to say, Teddy would quite like James on the floor _or_ the table. But that hadn’t been the question, had it?

James isn’t waiting for an answer, though; he wraps his bare arms around Teddy’s neck, a warm smile on his face as he starts to dance to the music.

Teddy can’t help but match James’s dancing, wrapping his arms around James’s waist and pulling him close. “I’m too old for this,” Teddy says.

James narrows his eyebrows. “You are _not_ ,” he insists, then breaks into an enormous grin and starts to sing along to the music. “You found me, you found me, you found me, I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that,” James bellows.

Teddy laughs. “What is this song?”

“Taylor Swift, obviously,” James teases, and oh _Helga_ , James starts grinding up on Teddy’s hip, not actually touching but going through the motions a tantalising centimetre away from Teddy’s skin.

James Potter is going to be the death of Teddy Lupin.

Teddy can feel his face turning red. He wonders if his hair has changed again; it’s probably morphed into a giant beehive that says “I WANT TO FUCK JAMES POTTER.”

“What’s wrong?” James asks, his face open and smiling and so free. James is never anxious, James is never deceptive, and it makes Teddy ache with how much he wants him. James sticks out his tongue, slowly, and runs it over his bottom lip.

Teddy’s eyes widen, and then, in a flash, it occurs to him—James is smart, and not just book smart (though he’s that, too), James is _socially, emotionally_ smart. Every single cousin asks James for dating and sex advice. Because James knows exactly how to help them get what they want.

James knows how to get what he wants.

Teddy stares at James’s stupid, brilliant, idiotic, irresistible face. “You absolute fucker,” Teddy growls, and then grabs James’s hips with strong, impatient fingers and pulls him in for a kiss.

James notices Teddy’s advance about one second before it comes, and his face changes into a self-satisfied smile and then again into a shocked “o” before Teddy’s lips press against his. James grabs Teddy’s neck, pressing them closer together, and Teddy thinks his hair is probably setting off fireworks now because that’s what kissing James feels like—it feels like everything he’s ever wanted in life.

Teddy wants to devour James—is that normal? When you’re kissing someone, to want to just like, eat them up? “Jamie, you are such a fucking tease,” Teddy whispers, pulling away to mutter against his lips.

James smiles. “Not a tease. I was just making my interest clear. But I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if you didn’t feel the same way. You know, what with having to see each other at family gatherings until forever.”

Teddy laughs, peppering kisses across James’s jaw. “Merlin, you made your interest clear, all right. I thought I was losing my mind; I almost checked myself into St. Mungo’s.”

“Less talking,” James whispers with a sigh, and rolls his hips against Teddy, finally closing that last centimetre.

“Mmmm,” Teddy says, leaning in for another deep kiss. He wants to suggest that they get the fuck out of this party of drunk eighteen-year-olds, go back to Teddy’s flat—or even to the fucking loo, anywhere that’s not in the middle of a throng of Potters and Weasleys—but he can’t get the words out, because that would mean he’d have to stop kissing James. When he finally pulls away, what comes out of his mouth is, “I never want to stop kissing you, Jamie.”

James’s smile is impish. “Good,” he says, “because I was hoping we could do some other things that go rather nice with snogging.”

It’s crap dirty talk, really, but Teddy is still on fire with want hearing _those_ words come out of James’s mouth. Teddy leans forward, pressing his lips into James’s neck, and murmurs, “I want to see what your cock looks like, Jamie, and then I am going to suck it until you scream, and then you’re going to fuck me, and we’re both going to be _wrecked_.” He latches his lips onto James’s neck and sucks hard, his cock filling out when he hears James suck in a gasp.

Teddy pulls back to look at James’s face. The arrogant smile is gone, replaced with an openness that makes him look his age, rather than older. “Fuck, yes,” James hisses, and leans in to capture Teddy’s mouth in a wet kiss.

Teddy’s in danger of forgetting his plan to leave for his flat, because continuing the snogging is just so nice, but he’s apparently retained enough brain power to whisper, “Let’s get out of here,” into James’s ear. Teddy’s shocked at how rough his voice sounds.

James pulls back, his eyes dancing with lust and amusement. “You are the worst chaperone of all time, Lupin.”

“Rose!” Teddy yells, eyes on James as he walks them towards the Floo. “You’re in charge of the wands!”


End file.
